Several of my friends have been told about my mother. Now, I don't mean to write a blog post to slag her off or speak ill of her but...no. No, I totally mean that. I need to vent somewhere my sister can't read it.
My mother was a good mother. Was, up until I was about fourteen. Since most of my early teen years are very, very hazy and filled with holes, I'll start with the year before last.
Late 2009, my mum had an operation to remove a tumour on her heart. Yes, she nearly died, but she was fine. I took over household chores for a while, until she had gotten better. But when she did, that's when things got ugly. She started to treat me like everything that went wrong was my fault. I told her kids at my new school bullied me, and she just shrugged it off ( I was severely bullied throughout school). Teachers ignored and verbally abused me, she ignored me too. Whenever I tried to stand up for myself, I got blamed for being violent or destructive. But no one, not even my mother, tried to help.
Of course, we fought. Occasionally things got physical. She cried to my father and siblings and told them that I had been the first to strike out. The first time, she was screaming in my face, hysterical, spitting. So I slapped her as a knee-jerk response. I don't deny that. But she was totally hysterical. What else was I supposed to do? The second time, she was screaming at me and holding my upper arm so hard it was more-or-less instantly bruised. She told everyone I "punched" her. I can't punch. I hit her, yes, because she was hurting me rather severely.
She's continued to demonise me in her mind. She displays symptoms like a paranoid schizophrenic or manic-depressive. She reacts badly to everything I tell her, like everything that goes wrong with me is a personal attack on her. A few days before my birthday, she literally screamed at me, til her throat swelled...because I was too sick to eat tacos or pasta for dinner.
She's set herself to hate my best friend, because he's a boy. I mean, she was cool with the blackmailer and the sexual abuser, because they were girls. But as soon as I have someone who loves me, and cares for me, and cherishes me, it's unnacceptable, because he has an (enormous) penis.
Every time things are looking up for me, suddenly, she's there, ready to bring me down. Found out I might be moving back to near where she lives? Screamed bloody murder. God forbid she finds out I might move to Melbourne.
God help us when I'm pregnant, too.
That'll do, cat. That'll do.
1940scat (1) adora batbrat (2) adorable catness (1) adorable gothicness (1) adsense (1) andrews sisters (2) angst (1) animal testing (1) ashley (1) atrocities (1) australian stories (1) awards; list; a little bit bullshit; shiro cosmetics (1) bargain (1) bats (2) bb cream (1) being one hell of a cat (4) BIG FUCKING GOTH HAIR (1) black lipstick (1) blaggymcblaggerson (1) blarg (1) blog stuff (3) bloggers (1) bloody mary cosmetics (1) books (1) brains (1) brief update (1) bustle (1) butts (1) camwhore (1) can't touch this (1) cat (1) cat about town (5) cat stuff (1) cats (19) celtic music (1) chinchillas (1) church (1) cloudstreet (1) comic (2) competitions (1) consumerism (1) contact (1) contests (1) corset connection (1) corsetry (1) corsets (6) corsets-au (2) crivens (1) damn computer (1) delilah (1) depression and why you don't have it (1) diary of a mareep (1) doctor kitty (1) doctor who (1) doctor whooves (1) doe deere (4) dog (1) dogs (1) doing science (3) dopey discord (1) dramu (1) EA (1) emilie autumn (1) emotional cat is emotional (1) encyclopedic (3) endangered animals (3) europe (1) everything is beautiful at the heathers house (1) excuses excuses (5) facebook (2) facts don't care if you believe in them (2) fatcat is fat (1) fcuking fgagot (1) Fight Like A Girl (1) filthy victorians 2012 (12) FLAG (1) folk (1) freak (1) FUCK YOU TOO INTERNET (6) fucking rainbows how do they work (1) furries y u betray me (1) game (1) gif party (2) giveaway (2) goddammit google (1) goddamn it lady stop being wrong (2) goddamn it stop being wrong (1) going out (1) going to the doctor (1) goodgoth (3) goth as fuck (1) goth outings (1) green fairy (1) hair (4) happy birthday (1) happy freakin birthday (1) hats (2) haul (2) hedgehogs (1) help (1) hiatus (2) hoorah (1) hot girl in the comic shop (1) house hunting (2) house stuff (4) human rights (1) i am internet (1) i love lipstick (1) i love you guys (1) i seriously cannot be the only one that hates the new blogger interface seriously what the fuck (1) i'll spellcheck you (1) i'm amazing (1) iberian lynx (1) illamasqua (1) image macros (1) important (2) information (1) interview (1) irish music (1) is this real life? (4) just say no (1) kittens (4) lil bit of rockakitty (1) lime crime (4) links (1) lipstick (1) little things with stripes on (1) lol troll (2) lolcow (1) look before you speak (1) Lovett's Law (1) lucy (1) makeup (2) manic panic (1) maru the cat (2) meerkats (1) melbourne (1) melbourne zoo (1) minecraft (1) minecraft server (1) mini-post (9) mlp (1) monthly theme (1) more than you needed to know (1) morgana cryptoria (1) mr growlithe (2) music (8) my little pony (1) my mum (1) neartastic: the n stands for justice (2) new stuff (4) newborns (1) news (7) no one ever suspects the butterfly (1) nonpost (3) nothin doin (1) obama (1) oh mister ridcully you do go on (1) old blind dogs (1) omg omg omg (2) one million hijabs (1) open dialogue (1) opera (1) outfit (7) pageviews (1) pastel goth (1) pathetic (1) perfume (1) pics (2) pizza (1) pizza order bat (1) pokegoon hurf (2) pokemon (2) politics (1) poll (1) profile picture (1) projects (1) raeglol (1) rage rage rage (5) rant (2) really unflattering photographs (1) religion (1) repo (1) resource (1) reviews (6) sary (2) save animals (2) SCIENCE (1) scottish music (1) shaima alawadi (1) shiro cosmetics (2) shooooooes (1) shopping (10) sick (2) skirt (2) snow leopard (1) speshul flower snowflake (1) srsface (1) stick your head up a fuck off (2) still alive (5) teddy (1) terminally stupid (1) terribear (1) terry pratchett (2) thank you (1) the body is a gross unnatural thing (1) the master (1) the more you know (2) the religious wrong (1) the temperature in this country is TOO DAMN HIGH (1) third world problems (1) thundercunt (1) tightlacing (1) tips and tricks (1) to do list (1) tragic beautiful (1) travel (1) tumblr (1) tummy (1) tutorial (1) twitter (2) undies (1) unwell (1) updates (1) victorian lady (3) victoriana (1) vintage (1) voltaire (4) walruses (1) wee babbys (1) what do miss cat (2) what the fuck (2) what what what (2) what. where. what. (1) wildcats (1) xanthy (1) YAY (1) you too can have a cat for the low price of your sanity (2) zomblies (1) zoo (1)