Monday 6 June 2011

I Am Not Your Sexual Object

I am sure I can't be the only goth girl who gets lewd, disgusting comments from guys greasy enough to make you vomit. I don't know if I mentioned it, but some large year nine or ten boy (remembering i am knee high to a hobbit) with a lopsided, greasy rat's tail blocked me off at school, stepped in front of me while his friends blocked me off at the side, put on his rape eyes and said, "hey, good-looking". I wanted to spew and murder all at once.

I have said that, yes, Goth is sexy. But the kind of comments and attitude that come from people is enough to make your skin crawl. I have been propositioned for sex, offered money for the same, and have had people attempt to start a game of grabassy with me. I turned sixteen last year.

Why does this happen? Why must we either be ridiculed, or viewed as street prostitutes? Are we forever doomed to be adored only by one another, Japanese tourists and old ladies? What is it about goth subculture that makes us so very prone to these kinds of disgusting comments?

An ankle?! The vapid whore!

And how are we meant to deal with them? I don't know. My way of dealing with those comments are generally "vomit into the mouth, be defended by amazing elderly person" (honestly, those geriatrics seem to come out of nowhere).

I can only think of one thing to blame, and honestly, it was the only thing I never wanted to blame: TV. When Goths aren't murdering the shit out of everyone, they're having nymphomanic sex with random strangers.
Or both.
  I never wanted to blame TV for anything. And yet here we are. So, TV, why are we portrayed as nymphomaniac, psychopathic Satanists when there are really not too many Goths with any of those problems (not that Satanism is a problem. Or exists in the way TV thinks it does)

You never happened.
It's because humans seem to have two basic impulses: fear, or fuck. It's true. If you're not scared of it, you're likely to want to stick your dick in it. And some people's reactions for both are one and the same. It is also possible that, because of the way the battically-inclined are portrayed, we end up the version of "bad boys" for the bad boys and chavs. We're different. We're untouched by their social circle.

Say what you want to us. Just don't do this.
We're this mysterious new thing, like the boy at highschool who rides a motorbike and is just too cool, and all the girls swoon over him. A Goth girl is new territory and, here's the fact, guy-with-rat's-tail-with-cigarettes, we don't give a fuck about you. Our total indifference towards you is not some hidden attraction.We're not ice queens who you must tame with gentle lovemaking. Your oh-so-classy catcalls towards us are not super-sexy. We really just don't fucking care.

I am here to have fun with my friends. I am not looking for random scrapes with a pot abuser. Fuck off and let me have a cup of coffee and a read in peace.

If one more guy comes up to me with such disgusting prepositions, he is getting my lovely, lace fan straight to the back of his fucking head.

Have any of you had similar experiences, where you really, really just wanted to throw up and die all at once? Please share. A good ragefest is good for you.


Unknown said...

I get shouted at all the time, and you're very right about that: either they're making fun of me, or they're making perverted remarks.
What puzzles me is, these remarks could never possibly work on anyone. Why do they keep doing it?

Kitty Lovett; The Unadulterated Cat said...

I don't know. It's enough to make anyone suicidal. ><

Tenebris In Lux said...

These people drive me batty (no pun intended). I have mentioned that I have been sexually abused before in my life -- when I was an adolescent, around the time that I was growing into Goth. I guess any guy will do it to any woman that's out of the norm. Sigh ..

Tenebris In Lux said...

Which reminds me:

I know, that dreaded "People of Wal*Mart" site. Whenever they see a Goth chick, they make several rude comments. Then again, this site is just begging for trolls and runs on negative publicity. Other than the strange piece of toilet paper, I think this was a fine outift.

CookingChinchillas said...

My defense mechanism is sarcastic stereotypical comments.
Greece is the country of sex...all girls get whistled at or honked at.And the slimy,disgusting men think that just because I wear fish net tights,I am a 10 dollar-hooker.
My response to those men usually is :"I will sneak into your house at night and rip your heart out and feast on it" Depending how sexual harassing the guy was,I exchange heart with penis..If you pair this comment with a very serious and mysterious voice and a weird stare/gaze,the poor guy starts to walk backwards or run.
BUT if it is a group of people I usually just flip them the bird,stare at them for a while and walk away.

Cameron Robinson said...

I apologize on behalf of my kind (males that is). I admit that many, if not most or all, are almost always horny and out "for the kill."

You are right with how you said people are really attracted to those outside their social circle. I personally haven gotten looks, suggestive emails and what have you simply because of how I look. There have even been people who have found me attractive simply because I was black or had piercings. Now it is nowhere near the kind of abuse ladies in the goth scene go through (or women in general for that matter), but I can at least begin to understand your frustrations. Apologies for many of the male species.

GlumPlum said...

I'm so sorry that you've had to go through such vile torments. I personally know how awful such comments are. I can't begin to tell you all the...rude (I'll make that the opperative word) suggestively disgusting and snide comments I've received just because my face and my style of dress blows the social norm out of the water. "Yeah I'm different but that doesn't mean I'm any more attainable or vulnerable for you. I'm not a piece of rare, exotic meat hanging in the back of the butcher's market." It's just not fair. People want and teach equality of almost everything but choice of clothing and style. For some reason that just makes us too different to be accepted as human beings with real feelings that can be just like anybody else's. You're not alone in the injustice of it all, believe me, as you can see from posts above. I'm so very sorry that you had to be hurt by one of those uneducated, foul, imbecilic (is that a word?) pigs.
-Kelli <3

The Green Fairy said...

Well said Kelli.

I get horrid comments all the time. Propositions. Ergh. Yuck.

Kitty Lovett; The Unadulterated Cat said...

Kelli - that's an insult to pigs, who are emotional and intelligent creatures. These guys are not.

Fairy - it doesn't help that you're asexugreen at all.

Tenebris - never heard of that site. XD we don't have Wal*Mart here. We're odd, I know.

Cam - Hooray! I seem to get along with males of other species so much better. Possibly because all my male otherspecies friends are ginger cats. And ginger cats are brocats for life.


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